


Workaholic

by Elexica



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alexithymia, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, angsty angst, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26833744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elexica/pseuds/Elexica
Summary: “Man, I just don’t get it. How can you work so much?”
Relationships: Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kaiba Seto
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Workaholic

“Man, I just don’t get it. How can you work so much?”

Kaiba held back five hundred retorts. “How can you be so uninterested in real work?” “That’s why you’re sitting where you are, and I’m Seto Fucking Kaiba.” “Society wouldn’t function if we were all lazy dogs like you.”

But these old instincts were vestigial. Joey was his partner, and recently his husband. Any comment about wealth or value was dilatory, Joey had all the same credit cards, access unrestricted to the same accounts. His own position as President and COO of their non-profit. 

And since power flowed from money, those recriminations died on his tongue too.

At this point, as was almost always the case with Joey, Kaiba was left swallowing the truth.

Even after all these years, the work was the only thing fully mind-clearing. Not romps in the sheets or games other than dueling the Pharaoh. Not happy walks with his partner or peaceful nights under the stars. 

All of these moments left tiny holes— imperceptible to anyone but him. And these little pores let feelings seep in. And even when the feelings were positive, they were a brutal combination of physical and mental. And that left room. 

Where there was room, there was... a pain. It was hard to describe but at any time that his mind wasn’t working, firing on all cylinders and charging forward, those gaps would leak with physical manifestations of emotion. 

And happy or sad or shameful or anxious or full of rage or full of love, it would hurt. 

Contrary to how it should have been, how everyone else appeared to feel, it was so much nicer to feel absolutely nothing. A physical relief to be unburdened by anything except the dry thoughts of analysis and construction. 

Doing anything else physically hurt.

He would suffer it for those other outcomes: a happy lover, a life that appeared rich and balanced, an existence that would free his brother from worry. Adulthood can do that to a person: create priorities that would have been absurd to one’s younger self.

But in his youth it had been the perfect salve over all of his wounds. It truly was perfect, as long as he could bear the dread in everyone around him. 

And now, it still did the trick. While the conversation was leaving his chest stinging, the spreadsheet called out to him— it’s tricky little flaws waiting to be discovered and removed. An answer, clean and detached, waiting to be drawn directly from the data.

“I like it,” Seto answered. “It’s fulfilling.” He could mimic any emotional text that was demanded even if his voice stayed dead, and tonight it was satisfaction. 

Kaiba has only tasted true satisfaction once, in another dimension, glowing blue hologram in hand and the Pharaoh’s life points depleted. But he could make the same face tonight, if it would release him from the conversation so he could return to the peace of his spreadsheet.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I write this at 4 am and project hella when I should have been sleeping and getting my shit together? 
> 
> Might delete later if everyone hates it.


End file.
